The Key to Many Locks
Karina Lafayette – June 2021
In the movie ‘The Lion King’, Simba leaves his pride out of fear of confronting them after the death of his father Mufasa. Thinking he was responsible, he sees no point in staying around, because he already feels like they will reject him. Being a young cub, he lacks the courage to confront his challenges, which is what delays the chance to claim his rightful place as King (which he obviously claims later). As someone with Chiron in Leo, it’s one of my favorite movies. Not because it’s a classic- well maybe that too- but because it shows how often in life, we create our own problems by not wanting to face something, and how once we do get the courage to confront it, that’s when the odds become in our favor.
I’ve been wanting to discuss Chiron for a longtime. Right up there with Saturn and Pluto, they form a mighty trio when it comes to the less-pleasant side of astrology. Even just the way Chiron gets treated by astrologers says enough: some astrologers say he’s merely an asteroid, while others remind us that he is literally considered a minor planet. Many even say he should be the ruler of Virgo, since Virgo is associated with medicine, while Chiron is the planet of healing. His symbol is shaped as a key, which means once this area of our chart is “unlocked”, that’s when great power can come from it. But that doesn’t come without a few tears first. Last week, just days before Mars began transiting my Chiron, I found an old key on the sidewalk. Right around this time, I had a painful yet freeing conversation with someone, that reminded me how very few things are a coicidence. Known as the wounded healer, in Greek mythology Chiron is one of the Centaurs, and has trained important heroes such as Jason, Achilles, and Heracles. Unlike the others, his front legs are human and he wears clothes, showing him as more civilized and balanced. His father was Cronus, the Greek variation of Saturn, and his mother was the nymph Philyra. Chiron was called the “wisest and the justest of the Centaurs”, for advocating honesty and always being of help to others. However, after his mother gave birth to him, he was left abandoned due to her being disgusted by his appearance, and was later found by Apollo, who taught him many skills including music, archery and medicine.
Here is a depiction of Chiron training a young Achilles.*
We can therefore say that wherever you have Chiron, this shows a personal rejection experienced early on that left a mark on you. Often, it’s something that may not even be your fault, as in the case with Simba. If left unchecked, themes around Chiron repeat over and over like a broken record until we have the courage to face it. It’s the reason why many of us continue to meet our ex in different bodies. It’s the reason why someone would hold back their truth even though it would do a world of good to let it out. And just as I’m having Mars currently make its transit over my Chiron, I’m reminded of some of my own healing that still needs work. Let me tell you, the universe is very generous, because if you fail a lesson, all you have to do is take the class again! You can tell which classes you’re in, just by looking at where Chiron is located in your chart.
My classes are for tortured artists and lovable hermits. And personally, I really do need solitude in order to thrive and create. The only catch is, despite the twelfth house being the house of the unconscious and dissolution, Chiron actually makes it very hard to avoid. This placement makes someone a natural loner, and solitude is the best way to work with Chiron. Chiron also shows where we overcompensate our weaknesses. For example, someone with this planet in their first would overcompensate for a fragile ego by bullying people, or by going around insisting they’re tougher than everyone else. Singer Demi Lovato has Chiron in the first under the sign of Leo, and not only have they become an advocate for self-love, they’ve openly admitted to constant self-doubt despite being one of the most successful pop singers of all time. Chiron is found prominent in the charts of successful artists, because art in itself is primarily known for turning pain into power, for alchemizing difficulties into pieces that last forever, and for reminding others that even in the heaviest darkness, someone understands.
For synastry, if someone has one of their planets aspecting your Chiron, it usually feels like the two of you have been brought together for a reason. I think the best example of how Chiron can heal through love, is by looking at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. It’s not surprising that Harry has already talked about how Meghan’s experience with British tabloids made him worry that history would repeat itself, since so much of what she experienced has mirrored his mother Diana. After all, Meghan’s Chiron is conjunct Harry’s moon in Taurus in the fifth house. The fifth house relates to children and creativity, and one main theme that’s solidified their bond and personal healing has been through starting a family. The moon is associated with our mother figure and by protecting the mother of his children, this allows Harry to heal the trauma he felt after his mother passed away. Of course, Chiron in synastry not only revives pain from the past, it can sometimes trigger new pain in order to push for healing, and this can seen through the miscarriage Meghan had last year, before she finally got pregnant with their daughter Lilibet.
While Chiron in synastry can be rather bittersweet, if one or both people aren’t working on their stuff, this is when it really stings. One thing to keep in mind though, is that anyone who brings up your wounds isn’t doing it on purpose; Chiron is basically the most sensitive, vulnerable place of a person’s chart. It feels raw, sacred, and complicated, all at once. From my experiences, I find in synastry that having someone’s planet conjunct, trine, sextile Chiron, or vice versa, is actually easier to deal with than the square or opposition. Even though the conjunction means that at some point emotional pain will be triggered, at least you both know where the wound is coming from and how to fix it. Usually both of you have a similar past, like kindred spirits. It makes sense that Harry and Meghan both have a history of parental trauma; Harry lost his mother, and Meghan’s father is infamous for humiliating her in the tabloids, giving her obvious reasons for no contact. Not to mention, similar to Meghan, Harry had to draw boundaries with family for his own personal happiness. They just get each other.
Like I mentioned in my article on the twelfth house, my grandmother’s Venus is conjunct my Chiron in the twelfth, so it’s no surprise that we bonded well. I remember growing up, in my family it wasn’t a thing to say “I love you”, except for between my mom and I. Then one day right before leaving my grandmother’s apartment, I randomly told her “I love you”, and she got caught off guard. Slowly my grandmother became comfortable with saying those words, and years later anytime we would talk on the phone, she always made sure to tell me she loved me. Venus is the planet that shows love languages, and Chiron conjunct allows the Venus person to soften up. As both an artist and the Chiron person, she also pushed me a lot to create and grow and not be afraid to express myself, especially after her passing. Naturally, losing her triggered a lot of my abandonment issues. I remember in April, thinking that there was no way I could ever let someone in, because people always leave me- or at least, that’s how I felt. To be honest, in the past I was anxious attached, and often chose people who were anxious avoidant. My grandmother never wanted me to stay alone, she always reminded me how it’s important to give someone a chance.
However, when someone has their Chiron opposing or square one of our planets, that’s when it can feel hard to really see eye to eye. I had one situation where there was an incredible attraction, but due to his Chiron opposing my Mercury and Venus, I never really felt understood by him. I witnessed this guy having back and forth conversations amongst colleagues, but with me, it felt like for whatever reason, I had to hold back with him. As if no matter what, he just wouldn’t hear what I was saying. It hurt like hell. I think in some way I also hurt him, which is possible since my Chiron is opposite his sun, but because the walls were so high, he never let me see past the exterior. He would talk about being a loner and probably saw me as a threat to his solitude. Nevertheless, I’m grateful we never had a real relationship. We were too busy picking at each other’s stuff to notice anything else.
With the square, this makes an interaction where both people have a valid perspective, but neither can find anything in common. That one issue that comes up in every argument between couples, is almost 100 percent the result of a Chiron square. For example, if someone has their Mars square your Chiron, you could feel overwhelmed by how they express their anger and want them to take it down a notch. In return, the other person feels like you’re being too sensitive and don’t let them speak their mind. This means anytime you have arguments, you keep tone policing and wanting to control each other’s frustrations. Since a square shows two planets at odds, it’s important both sides make their voices heard. A difference in temperment doesn’t have to be the end of the world, just use your inside voice.
Just as much as Chiron can bring up deep healing, it can also be the source of unexplained jealousy or frustration toward someone in your life. Often, if you hate a person for no reason, it’s because they remind you of your shortcomings. As someone with Chiron in Leo, people with a lot of bravado and confidence sometimes get under my skin, because I was raised to be “humble” (seen and not heard). I’ve also had situations where other women would accuse me of being arrogant or try to dim my shine anytime I feel more confident. When this happens, I just remember my intentions, and avoid the drama. Because at the end of the day, you can’t make everyone happy!
Read below on your Chiron sign and house placement in detail, and then scroll down to learn how to work with it.
The Key is in Your Hands
Now that you understand a bit more about your own experience with Chiron, you might be wondering what can be done to make it better. The easiest way is to look at strengths associated with that sign, because those would be your weaknesses. So a person with Chiron in Leo may be like the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz, since Leo is the sign of courage. In my case, being able to have fun by painting, drawing, watching movies and TV shows, and also just learning not to take life so seriously, definitely help a lot. As an adult, I personally still enjoy buying Happy Meals and listening to the Spice Girls. That’s my kind of therapy.
Someone with Chiron in Taurus would have fears around money, since Taurus is the sign of money and security. Being able to treat themselves to a shopping spree once in a while or having a good meal, can be their form of healing. Wherever your Chiron, meditation and doing shadow work will help the most. Any feelings that come up can tell you what you’ve been avoiding. Also, write down a list of situations that repeat themselves to see if there is a correlation. Chances are if you keep reliving the same money woes or relationship issues, it’s thanks to Chiron. If not, the other culprit would be Saturn (which I’ll write about in a later article). Chiron often feels like a merry-go-round, because it brings that feeling of history repeating itself. The main reason why that happens is because as humans, we want to avoid what hurts, and that’s exactly how we get hurt in the first place. The universe doesn’t understand “no”, it only understands what we focus on. So if the main focus is, “I don’t want to be heartbroken again”, then that’s just what it delivers. The best way to get past any Chiron pattern, is to accept the possibility of disappointment, and be prepared to tackle the challenge anyway. Whatever struggle that continues to repeat itself, the more you show willingness to face it, the smaller it gets.
Another technique that’s important with Chiron, is to look at the people in your life who irritate you, because as already mentioned, they probably behave in a way that pokes at your weaknesses. For example, if you have Chiron in Cancer, you might really want kids but get irritated around people who gush over their kids. Essentially, any basic traits associated with the sign your Chiron is in, are going to need work. It won’t necessarily happen overnight, and this is why I associate the wounded healer with career, because it’s an area that we eventually become an expert in. By working on certain themes continuously, it’s only fair we want to teach others how to do better! Even if you don’t make a career out of it, you’re probably using those skills as we speak. Look back on anytime you inspired someone by telling them a story on how you overcame adversity, and you’ll realize you’ve already been working with Chiron all along…
What I want to emphasize the most about Chiron, is that there really is no way to avoid him. You can drink the pain away, smoke the pain away, f**** the pain away, and for a moment will be numbed out, but by the morning, he’ll still be with you. There isn’t any shortcut to healing, and so many people struggle with connection because deep down, that’s where the deepest insecurities come up. So we jump from one person to the next, hoping to stay only long enough to leave without damage. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re simply there to mingle and socialize, that’s great! But if you’re hoping to build something real, something authentic and lasting, the armor has to come off sooner or later.
Make friends with your pain. Ask what it needs from you. Talk to it like you would talk to a small child. Sooner or later, you can use Chiron to inspire others who’ve been there, and become their light in the darkness.
To check out my books, social media and more, scroll to the main menu above, where you can also get a reading- one of them is specifically geared toward Chiron. Also be sure to watch my new short documentary series on the Saturn Return!
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