Wednesday Journal Entry, Week 25
February 1st 2023 – Karina Lafayette
Back in high school, I had a classmate who was so obsessed with Twilight, that anytime her scoliosis would cause discomfort in gym, she would bite (yes, bite), her friends as a way to cope. She also occasionally would go around biting people for the sheer fun of it. While I wasn’t as deep into the Twilight Fandom, I definitely understood, as I secretly had read all four books at home, but felt way too cool to ever admit it in public.
My slight obsession with all things spooky and unusual didn’t start at any specific point in time. Rather, like most Millennials, the spooky life chose me. As young as five years old, my mom put white vampire makeup on my face to wear in kindergarten for Halloween, to which the other kids were so terrified of me, one of them even cried. Excellent. It wasn’t long before I first had the chance to watch Interview with the Vampire, which eventually led to a life of living through fictional strange characters as a way to navigate my own existential dread.
Some of my favorite shows growing up were, and in no particular order: Vampire High, Buffy, Real Monsters, Mona the Vampire, Big Wolf on Campus, Sailor Moon, Worst Witch, Goosebumps, Are You Afraid of the Dark? and The New Addams Family (before I discovered the movies and the original Addams Family). While I’ve never been big on gore and violent horror, I think what drew me to these shows was the fact that like me, their narratives focused on being an outsider, something let’s face it, almost every Millennial can relate to. Even as an adult, my love of Halloween mostly stems from the fact that it’s the one time of the year where no one cares whatsoever how you look.
As for Anne Rice’s works, so far I’ve read most of her Vampire Chronicles, the Mayfair Witches, and have seen the Interview with the Vampire movie at least ten or fifteen times, constantly discovering more ways to relate to her world.
Also like almost every Millennial, I grew up thinking that I was the only one who felt misunderstood, when in reality, we’re an entire generation that’s struggled with feeling misunderstood, because most of us really, really don’t know how to express our feelings. The proverbial bad boy with a good heart trope. It’s easy to blame technology, but in reality, you can thank Pluto in Scorpio (1983-1995) for that. Pluto being a generational planet means that people under this transit have common traits: depressed, brooding, mysterious, with deep complex emotions, a strong sense of social justice and intimidating sexuality. We are, after all, the first generation that had no issue with coming out in high school and made it normal for people to feel accepted.
And even if you don’t consider yourself as someone who’s interested in having sex, chances are it’s still a part of your life in some way, either from a psychological or intellectual perspective. The reason because Scorpio is the sign that quite literally rules everything taboo, from secrecy, to mental health, obsessions, and yes, sex. Millennials are the ones who aren’t afraid to point out when something is wrong, because from a young age, we were told to keep quiet on things that should’ve never been secret in the first place. We’re the cycle breakers.
Some of my fondest memories from early days of Facebook involve having standoffs in the comments with old white men who threatened to send me to Afghanistan, after that one time I complained about the Canadian government spending more money on military than education. A random old man wanted to do this because he thought it would make me grateful for living in Canada. It didn’t do much, aside from make me care about social justice even more. That motivation came in handy a few years later, when there was that time in Quebec (my home province) where students went on strike for almost six months because Premier Charest wanted to raise tuition fees. Because if there’s one thing that’s really impressive, it’s Millennial rage.
Now, when it comes to relationships, the reason why dating as a Millennial can feel so shitty, has to do with generational trauma. Around the time that Pluto first entered Scorpio, the AIDS crisis started to emerge. Even though most of us were obviously too young to remember, that fear of what could happen if you get too close to someone, that fear of loss, we still feel it. Scorpio is the sign of intimacy, it wants to merge with a partner in body, mind and soul, but we grew up in a time that taught us that closeness can lead to danger and sometimes even death. It’s not uncommon for Millennials to be single for a long time, or to stick with situationships, because at least then, you get close without the risk of being hurt.
Deep down, our generation wasn’t made for superficial love, we all have that Gomez and Morticia fantasy, or some variation. I’d even go so far as to say that most of us weren’t made to be single. While Pluto in Libra was designed for partnerships that are lasting and breezy and they have a tendency to ignore issues in relationships, Scorpio wants deeper, and once it gets past that fear, this is where potential gets unlocked. This is the kind of love that goes beyond the honeymoon phase. When it comes to Pluto, Pluto represents the area of life that will bring about the deepest transformations, but it can only happen by giving each other a chance. Otherwise we’ll continue ghosting, manipulating and getting into situationships, because that’s what Scorpio does when they’re afraid to love- they become avoidant attached.
I also know for a fact that our generation wasn’t made for social media. Sure, it’s brought us out of a collective shell and allows some type of way to express ourselves and connect (MySpace, anyone?), so much of it feels empty. It’s all about image and popularity. The only reason Millennials get with social media is because it’s just that much easier than going outside to touch some grass, because let’s face it, there’s not a single one of us that doesn’t have depression, anxiety, CPTSD, or something going on, that makes the world feel too big and overwhelming.
Of course, Boomers love to make fun of us for that (Pluto in Leo, cough cough), but to be fair, our earliest memories do involve Princess Diana passing, 9-11, terrorist threats, school shootings, and talks about the world ending every other minute. Not that previous generations didn’t have their own trauma, but at least we’re not in denial of our trauma and actually take the time to work through it. We’re the first generation to truly go to therapy, do shadow work, and aren’t afraid to cut off toxic family members for peace of mind. We started off defeated and rose like a Phoenix.
Speaking of, that’s another reason why so many relate to Harry Potter. I’m not a fan myself, but for those who are, the idea of being sent off to Hogwarts was often more appealing than the reality of everyday life. Our parents complained a lot about how we didn’t go play outside the way they did, but I don’t recall much collective effort to make the world safer for kids to begin with. If anything, I remember feeling like an inconvenience, like the only time adults enjoyed my company was when I was as quiet and small as possible. In the meantime, anything that brought us joy, like McDonald’s and pop culture, slowly became embedded in a need to constantly remind us not to think too much about the future, in case the world did end sooner or later. Almost overnight, every show and movie we grew up watching had to have a “dark” reboot. It’s no wonder that today we experience so much delayed adolescence.
The darker side to this, because of so much trauma, a lot of us have been stuck in survival mode, constantly living on edge, prepared for the worst possible outcome without even considering how limiting it’s been. We spent so much timing in fear that it took until most of us started heading into our thirties to even know how to live. And then again, the desire to jump to conclusions is still there in the back of our minds.
Hence the emo persona many Millennials hopped on board with. It came off as an aesthetic to parents, but it was really a response to how invisible the rest of the world wanted us to be. Emos were a subculture that came across as wanting to be as invisible as possible, and made it into something that was put on a pedestal. In a strange way, even though most emos would hiss at the idea of getting attention, it was sort of their way of feeling accepted in a system that didn’t want Millennials to have acceptance, like a game of reverse psychology, something Scorpio is a master at.
Something deeper and more sinister than all this, is the amount of times that Pluto in Scorpio folks have been made into the villain just because you know, society always needs one. We’re often accused of being lazy and entitled whenever we refuse to work unpaid overtime or for not taking on other people’s responsibilities. Even though the reality is many of us work multiple jobs, despite having barely a slim chance to buy our own houses one day. We also get told that we’re too whiny and sensitive all because we speak up against abuse, and have no issue admitting when we need a mental health day. For those who are parents, they’ve coined the term “gentle parenting”, which is really just a polite way of saying that kids deserve parents who actually care. Most of all, we have no issue looking at the real world in the face and saying, “You don’t scare me.”
I’ll admit, for a long-time I actually hated being a part of this generation, but I think it’s mostly because I wanted my mother’s approval. Now that it’s been eight years since going no contact with her, I have a newfound appreciation for people my age. We’re not here to conquer office spaces or to become the next Steve Jobs or Jeff Bezos, we’re here to speak the truth, be it through art, music, writing, spirituality, in our relationships, or even with the kids. If our job has been to dig up every skeleton, secret, and family drama there is just to make room for a better world, I’d say we’ve been doing a damn good job so far.
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