Wednesday Journal Entry, Week 29
March 8th 2023 – Karina Lafayette
You can almost taste it in the air, that in-between moment, when it’s not quite a new chapter, but it’s so close to starting. Of course, when reading a book, we can skip through the pages. When watching a movie or TV show, you can fast-forward past the boring parts. But those in-between moments that can be skipped through in certain mediums, can’t be skipped in real life. It doesn’t matter how much meditation, astrology, shadow work, therapy or chit-chat with friends, life will always progress in a linear way.
I always knew I was meant for a great love, as cheesy as it sounds. My version of love does indeed have a lot of clichés as well; the flowers, slow dances, walks on the beach, and I’m not sorry for any of it, even though it’s far from a perfect love. Not only because no one on the planet should have to feel ashamed for wanting what they want, but because it was already written in the stars a long time ago- and I don’t mean that metaphorically either. I mean, literally. Because my Venus just entered the sign of lush and affectionate Cancer.
Of course, it’s not as if my Venus has actually changed. The chart that you’re born with, those placements are what you have forever, good and bad. Except… one thing that isn’t heard of very often is the progressed chart. Basically a progressed chart is a slow-moving evolution of your chart through the years that gives insight into how you grow as a person. This is why an impatient Aries can eventually mellow out once older, or how a once-shy Taurus like me can go from stuttering in front of a group of people to owning the stage. I used to be super shy, but over the years once my Taurus planets progressed into Gemini, a more vocal, assertive Karina started to emerge.
The beautiful thing with a progressed chart is this means that certain areas of your life that were once difficult become easier. The downside is this also explains why we outgrow certain things and certain people. Usually when the moon, Mercury, Mars or Venus changes or is about to change, we find that some people just don’t fit in our life anymore. I broke up with my ex a year or so before my progressed Mars went into Taurus.
So it’s not only your personality that will change overtime. As we all know, change is a part of life, and the people around change as well. When my Venus had been in Gemini for awhile, I enjoyed the kind of interactions with people that were more casual and breezy, never really going deep into conversation. Mostly, I just wanted to be surrounded with as many acquaintances as possible. I also would start projects without finishing them- obviously. In dating and relationships, I was a bit indecisive but also learned to appreciate a potential partner for their intellect and drive, not really caring for sex or looks. Despite having a romantic side, it wasn’t necessary for me to have a lot of dates to be swept off my feet.
Over the years, and especially a few years ago, something seemed to be missing. I remember around 2018, feeling resentful at my ex who used to think that Netflix and Chill counted as quality time, despite the fact that we already lived together. I also got bored of flirtations that didn’t involve anything sexual or romantic. I remember the pain of feeling played by people who one minute wanted me, only to change their mind the next, and not only in dating, but also in friendships. It felt confusing and frustrating that no matter how much I worked on being independent and loving myself and buying my own flowers, just like Miley Cyrus sings about, that certain people felt entitled to my time while also taking it for granted. And most importantly, taking me for granted.
Maybe to an extent, I was also giving off the vibe of caring less than I actually did. And funny enough, the night after I started writing this, I actually dreamed I was dating Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme. At one point, we were listening to a playlist on shuffle and when the song “More Than Words” came on, I asked him if it was awkward for me to play it. He assured it was fine. In a way, that was just a dream, but the question made me think of the fact that part of me would be a bit shy to play that song in public, because those lyrics are so vulnerable, and remind me of what I’ve struggled to experience in love, something that is about “more than words”. And there’s that side of me that doesn’t like admitting to wanting something that seems so… obvious. As if love is something we should be ashamed of, that I’m ashamed of feeling.
My Gemini grandmother taught me an important lesson, and it was to always be kind, but don’t let others take you for granted. She was giving to a fault, but once she had enough of someone, they no longer existed to her. She was also fearless in love and showed affection as much as possible. I think this is also the reason why Gemini energy can be accused of being two-faced, because they don’t let their feelings get in the way of making the right decision, something this Taurus finally learned. I’ve spent much of the first part of my life with progressed Gemini Venus, and it often just felt like I couldn’t catch a break. I think as much as every sign can have love, in a progressed chart, Gemini Venus can make relationships difficult, and if they do happen, the friendship tends to come first.
And really, there’s nothing wrong with a partnership that prioritizes being friends- When Harry Met Sally is one of my favorite movies- but remember, a progressed chart only shows where we’re at in life, it isn’t the final destination. So unless you’re already an air sign, this kind of progression is a bit more frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, while I’m more likely to prioritize peace than being with someone just for the sake of it, I’m still a Taurus, and we’re not ruled by the planet of love for nothing. Ironically, that’s another lesson I’ve learned with Gemini Venus, to actually speak up for what I want, rather than going through the motions, a mistake earth signs are known for making.
Personally, a relationship that feels more like a friendship doesn’t hold my loyalty for very long. Sooner or later, I get frustrated and want nothing to do with the person. I used to feel ashamed of this and sometimes went along with being more nonchalant just to make someone happy, but inside, I was seething. I wanted affection and quality time, and all my love interests had to offer was some flirting and a pat on the back. All because I never saw romance growing up and was led to believe that my needs were “too much”.
The breaking point for me really came in 2020. That summer, I had a dream about someone before meeting him, so you can’t blame the excitement when he walked into my life for real, just a few days later. Things went well at first, till he began stringing me along, his words just not matching up with his actions. After him, I spent the next few years not even so much as looking at people I found attractive, because I no longer wanted to settle for breadcrumbs. No matter how independent and self-assured, I wanted to make room for the Gomez to my Morticia.
Ironically, as a Taurus, patience isn’t exactly my strong suit, but if someone had told me about how my progressed Venus was about to change into one of the most romantic signs of the zodiac, just as a bunch of other major transits would be happening, maybe I would’ve been more hesitant around some guy I dreamed of before meeting. Maybe I would’ve allowed myself to accept the fact that progressed Gemini Venus was a period to be [mostly] single, explore myself as a person, and just enjoy friendships.
Another reason why progressed Venus changing sign is a huge deal, is because it only moves about one degree per year, which means it takes 25-30 years before Venus progresses into the next sign, so it’ll change two or three times in a person’s life. The sun, Mars and Mercury have around a similar time frame, while the moon on the other hand changes sign every 2.25 years. Then there’s the rising sign, which is also a very, very slow progression. The other planets usually stay the same.
Last year, when my Saturn Return had started, I caught a glimpse of my progressed chart for 2023, and at last, so much of everything that’s happened, made sense. I knew it was important to enjoy the moment and that romance hadn’t forgotten me after all, it would just happen later than expected. Or maybe not. Even in high school, every time I imagined the future, it always seemed like age 30 would be a turning point for a lot of things. Even though I was romance-obsessed from young, I wasn’t able to imagine myself with someone till certain pieces fell together, like a perfect tapestry. The best part is that often even when I am alone, I never feel completely alone. In a way, it’s as if he and I have been walking next to each other this whole time, till our paths finally merge into the same place. In-between, there’s dreams, visions, and synchronicities to make the wait easier.
Right before my Venus progressed in the sign of Cancer, I started to feel a bit needy, not that that’s a shock, the crab is famous for being needy. At first, I thought this was selfish, till I realized that growing up I used to be a crybaby, and never had an issue expressing my feelings till life got more serious. Even while typing, it’s full water works. Since some trauma, I never really allowed myself to be vulnerable around anyone. So that’s the next chapter in my journey, being vulnerable and being loved, and loving back. And for this Taurus with a Capricorn moon, that’s going to be a bit of a challenge, but it’s one I’m ready for, especially since I know what (and who) is waiting for me.
The last time a major shift like this happened was a few years ago, when my Mars “changed”. It became easier for me to express anger and rage, and I was no longer attracted to macho, aggressive types. My kind of partner needs to be masculine, but more on the sensitive, easy-going side, and also a big romantic. And looking back, there’s no way this kind of person could’ve fit into my life any sooner. Life is a mix of fate, timing, and free will, and what could be better than meeting someone at the right place, the right time and being able to choose each other.
To find out your progressed chart, go to astro.com. And if you haven’t already, join my new social media site, Persephone’s Forum, where you can post, add friends and more!
If you enjoyed this article, you may want to read No, The Planets Don’t Have a Gender: What Venus and Mars Are Really About and Reclaiming Venus and All Things Beautiful: Uranus Meets the North Node. To support my work, consider buying me a coffee.
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