January 6th 2023 – Karina Lafayette
Ever notice how the things we want the most, are more often than not the things we fear the most? For example, many people complain how frustrating relationships are, yet the minute we meet someone who seems to embody everything we want, we screw things up by pushing them away. Or we’ll spend years working toward a specific goal, but when the opportunity comes up to take on a certain job or career that’ll propel us forward, we get taken over by self-doubt and good ol’ imposter syndrome. Well luckily, this is the moment to heal those fears once and for all. And while it won’t be easy, it’ll be absolutely worth it.
Since early September 2022, we’ve had Chiron the planet of healing that’s been making an inconjunction to the South Node in Scorpio. Personally I love Chiron. In mythology, Chiron was rejected by his mother at birth, and he began his healing journey by learning various skills such as music, medicine, astrology and more. In our birth chart, Chiron represents what makes you authentically you- it’s the part of yourself that refuses to conform and that more often than not, has been rejected by society. For example, those with Chiron in Libra can fear relationships and settle for partners who mistreat them or who just aren’t right for them, most likely due to coming from parents who were divorced, yet they also have a strong sense of justice and fight for others. Chiron in Leo can struggle with having fun and sharing their talents, due to being told from a young age that they were “too much” and to “humble themselves”. Wherever your Chiron is at, the best way to heal, is to own this side of you unapologetically and go after what you want.
Meanwhile, the South Node shows our comfort zone. It shows the skills that we’re naturally good at, but that can also be detrimental to our growth if we stay stuck there. On the other hand, the North Node shows the area of life that’s a part of our calling, but too much of a focus on the North Node can lead to codependency and forgetting who we are, so it’s best to find balance. We aren’t actually supposed to let go of our South Node completely, just the parts of it that may have been toxic or self-limiting.
For some, this transit can bring up a lot in regards to sexuality and relationships. Aries knows what it wants but with Chiron in the mix, there can be a feeling of not deserving it, most likely due to past shame from childhood, abuse, previous relationships or religion. Since Scorpio is the sign of organized religion, it’s obvious that a lot of religious and spiritual programming is responsible for how we view intimacy. Look at almost every horror movie and there’s often the trope where two people get killed right when they’re either about to, or are having sex. There’s also a common theme of the villain appearing as a sexy woman or obsessed romantic partner, like we see in Fatal Attraction, Jennifer’s Body, or many other movies. Almost each time these stories are accompanied with religious symbolism, such as a cross, demon possession, or even some figure like a nun or priest who comes around to save the day. The idea that sex is bad and we shouldn’t lead ourselves into temptation, even if temptation can lead to empowerment, is a tale old as time, and it’s time to flip the script.
In our own lives, as Chiron continues to be inconjunct the South Node, we might be realizing something about our sexual orientation. Better yet, we could even meet someone (or have already) with whom the chemistry is hot, but for whatever reason, there’s a bit of a hesitation surrounding how to approach each other, or maybe there’s some kind of obstacle- real or imagined- that needs to be overcome, before you can get together. By January 12th however, once Mars finally goes direct after being retrograde, we should already start to feel the obstacles lift since Chiron and the South Node will no longer be exact. The good news is that inconjunctions typically represent a breaking point, which means that in some cases, it’s only a matter of time before both surrender to their impulses and give in to the most passionate romance of their lives. In other cases, it’ll feel simply like a weight has been lifted.
When two planets or key points are making an inconjunction, this basically creates a sense of miscommunication or disconnect. It’s like two people saying the same thing in different languages. Here we have Scorpio, a fixed water sign, and Aries, a cardinal fire sign. Both are strong, ambitious and passionate, yet both go about their motives in different ways. Aries says it like it is, while Scorpio likes to sneak, spy, and slither their way toward their goals, but they always get what they want. Aries fights the battles that we see, while Scorpio dives deep into the psyche to fight demons.
Another key thing Aries and Scorpio have in common is that they both love power. However while Aries is upfront about wanting to be Daddy, Scorpio will play coy and hide their agenda, and this is where the South Node can cause setbacks. Both these signs are ruled by Mars, so in order to overcome whatever ongoing battle is happening with this inconjunction between Chiron and the South Node, we need to look at things that are less than pretty. We need to admit that desire for power, sex, and success, and own it. No more airy fairy, love and light mantras and seeing only what you want to see. It’s time to get honest with yourself. You can’t heal unless you face what (or who) has been hurting you.
It is most likely one of the reasons why so many celebrities were exposed for cheating in the past year. This kind of thing happens so frequently that a lot of us have simply accepted it, and even go into relationships already expecting the worst. Instead of just accepting it, it would be a better idea to look at the Madonna-Whore Complex and how it causes people to split partners into specific roles, especially when that partner is a woman. Lots of times, when a man puts a partner onto the Madonna pedestal, it’s because he feels guilty for his desires, so he rather ignore her sexual side and project his shame onto her, than accept the fact that he can both love her and want her at the same time. And it’s not like women are any better. When we’re not so busy suppressing our own sexual needs in fear of being judged, we have no issue slutshaming other women who are comfortable with their body, because we wish we could be like them.
A pop culture moment that exemplifies the Madonna-Whore Complex can be seen with the movie Showgirls (1995). Bad script and over-the-top acting aside, Elizabeth Berkley deserved better than to have her career fall apart, just because some people were offended by nudity and a character who can work her way around a stripper pole. Like it or not, her character Nomi Malone is unhinged and liberated as they come, and had it not been for our collective prudishness, Showgirls wouldn’t have had the controversy that it did. Yes, the movie has a lot of flaws and there’s no doubt it’s far from feminist, but if the issue really was about mediocre acting and writing, then actors like Al Pacino and Ben Afleck would no longer have a career after starring in a flop like Gigli, and Adam Sandler would’ve stopped making movies a long time ago.
In real life, people shamed Elizabeth for this movie because she spent years behind a “good girl” reputation with her role on Saved By the Bell. And interestingly enough, she just so happens to be a Leo Sun, Mars and Mercury and through July 1991 to September 1993 Chiron was in Leo, around the same time that Saved By the Bell was airing. It’s likely that period felt very isolating and triggering for her despite all the success. So while on one hand, some might suggest she ought to regret playing in Showgirls, as a woman who’s been shamed myself, I have to admit there’s nothing more isolating than living up to the reputation of a good girl. It’s limiting, inauthentic and gets a little boring after awhile- but hey, that’s just me.
In my own relationships, my ex pretty much admitted he was happy I was a virgin when we met, because according to him, it made me a good person, which says more about him then it does about me. It also made our sex life very dull because anytime I wanted to have more intimacy or play with toys, he would get put off, but had no issue turning to porn. I’ve also had instances were men wanted to get with me. even though they were taken. Because of that, I decided it was better to be single than to be with someone who can’t accept all of me. I’ve been labeled the Madonna and the Whore.
Even in New Age spirituality, despite coming across as progressive, there’s also the same old narrative. We get told that we shouldn’t share our sexual energy with anyone, and that being attached to things like sex and intimacy means that we’re not “evolved enough”, because apparently evolved people aren’t supposed to want anything. In reality, you can be a sexually liberated person and still master your spiritual world and gifts. It’s all about finding balance and working to connect with people who are aligned with what you want. There’s also this idea that expressing anger or rage somehow makes you immature, because spirituality sometimes tries to be above feelings, when really the goal isn’t to ignore your feelings, but to master them, and this is an issue that’s only gotten worse collectively since Chiron first went into Aries.
Chiron entered Aries in April 2018, and since then a lot of us have been faced with situations that ask for courage and boldness. During that time, society has seemed to get progressively worse, but that’s only due to a fear of what would happen if we just said how we really feel. Aries is a warrior, a master at authenticity and taming the ego, but under this transit we can feel guilty about letting others know where we stand. There’s only so many times a person can take a hit before they finally start punching back, which means sooner or later, the warrior gets up again.
Meanwhile, in January of 2022, the North Node went into Taurus. I won’t go into detail about it here (since I already wrote on it), but with the South Node in Scorpio, what this means is shadow work, and no one knows shadow work better than Scorpio. Overseeing the eighth house, Scorpio represents mysticism, sexuality, our obsessions, and secrets. Because we’re talking the South Node, this means secrets and all the skeletons in our closet are coming to light. It can also bring up feelings of jealousy, obsession and a need to control our emotions. No more hiding. No more playing games. What’s been hiding is going to come up sooner or later, and this is where things get tricky.
So how do we overcome this fear? By looking at the house in your birth chart ruled by Scorpio- something about that area of life has got to go in order to become empowered in your Aries house. If you’re a Virgo rising like me, the people you associate with or even how you express yourself, has been getting in the way of deeper intimacy. If however you’re a Scorpio rising, the person holding yourself back from success is you. No matter where Chiron and the South Node are transiting in your chart, just know that you deserve what you want. Whether it’s better sex, better relationships, more money, or all the above- you deserve it all, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Because here’s the thing, you can’t lie to yourself forever. With any Chiron transit, there is a lot of pain, but that pain is the key to healing. It’s the key to moving forward and as long as we keep giving in to shame and self-doubt, the same scenarios will come back around to haunt us over and over. So where do you need to surrender resistance? What fear do you need to release in order to become empowered? What exactly has been holding you back? You just might find that the minute you take that leap, you’ll wish you jumped in sooner.
Karina xo
To learn more about Chiron, read Chiron in the Natal Chart: Show Me Where It Hurts. If you liked this article, you might also like The Dreamers Wake Up: Jupiter in Aries (May 2022-May 2023).
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