Karina Lafayette – May 2020
There are some things that go bump in the night, that seduce and tease, some things that may be better left at their own discretion, and are not for the faint of heart. If you’re someone who has planets in the eighth house you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re someone who doesn’t know whether you have anything in the eighth house because you don’t know your rising sign, then have a seat, sweetheart, because I will make sure to explain all of that in the simplest kind of way.
But first, you must enter at your own risk.
To explain first, the eighth house is the area of our natal chart associated with intimacy, psychology, magic, secrets, other people’s money (as in loans, grants, bursaries), fears, organized religion, power struggles, transformation, and death. These are the areas of life most of us avoid and with good reason, to dwell here is to be willing to surrender control. Ruled by Scorpio and Pluto, whatever planets you have here will be taken under the wings of the Phoenix and go through constant rebirth. (The way to find this out is by creating your natal chart using any of the links below this article, and making sure you have your birth time.) Of course, everyone experiences rebirth in some kind of way, just look at where you have Pluto and whatever planets you might have in Scorpio to find out, but not everyone experiences it in its full depth. That’s why some people can experience drug addiction, abuse, trauma, and all kinds of pain, and still not have a wrinkle on their forehead- chances are something is up with their eighth house, or they’re Scorpio dominant. These kinds of people have some stories to tell, and often experience things that are akin to the craziest fiction novels.
It’s not to say that whatever goes on in the eighth house is necessarily bad, but it’s usually scary because it can deal with the shadow self that you see as the big bad wolf, the part of you that you’re aware of but try to keep at bay. Don’t feed it and it’ll go away, right? Not if you want to hear that constant howl at the moon every night. Just like everything, even that part of you that you consider as shameful and ugly will have to be fed, whether you like it or not. The problem with this as the house of intimacy, is that we can only be as close with others as we are with ourselves, so avoiding the eighth house means we also avoid real love, passion, and deep connection. Sure, the seventh house is the precursor to partnerships and shows how we relate to others, but those who dwell in the seventh find themselves often swimming in shallow waters. If you really want to know how to make a person tick, the sign that rules their eighth will tell you.
Gemini in the eighth? Dirty talk. Aries in the eighth? Like it rough, and maybe competitive. Taurus in eighth? Slow and easy, with food. Pisces in eighth? Tantra.
If you’re someone who has personal planets in the eighth house- the personal planets being the sun, moon, Venus, Mars, and Mercury- this means there’s always a part of you that dances in the shadows. Since this also has to do with whatever we fear, you could literally be afraid of showing that part of yourself to others. Example, if a person has their sun in the eighth, or if they have a planet in the eighth aspecting the sun, they could be afraid of showing their true self, or have a father figure that was very controlling and that wanted to dim their shine in some way. If the moon is here, it can show someone who’s mother was controlling or didn’t allow them to express their emotions. If this isn’t the case, then it could just show a very deep, loving connection between parent and child. On the darker interpretation, having the sun or moon here can show illness or even death of a parent. Madonna has her moon in the eighth house and she lost her mother as a kid. Interestingly, her moon is in the sign of Virgo and represents The Virgin, which is the meaning of her name. It shouldn’t be a surprise if you consider the religious symbolism in her songs and music videos, and the controversy she’s caused just with her open in some of her albums. In a documentary, a few people mention her being a very shy and private person despite seeming outgoing.
When it comes to having Venus in the eighth house, the love life tends to be what’s hidden in some way. For Venus here, love is emotionally intense, deep, and passionate. Physical can sometimes be confused as love, and younger this person could get taken advantage of by misreading people who only want to sleep with them. It’s important to be able to merge with a partner on a soulful level, and there can be a tendency of being very jealous and possessive if not for self-awareness and boundaries. There’s also a possibility of being with a partner who’s very wealthy.
For Mars here, intimacy is EVERYTHING. And trust me, I know because my Mars is in the eighth house. If someone with this placement claims they don’t care about it, there’s a good chance they may have had trauma that made them feel shameful or even uncomfortable surrounding their needs. There is almost always something magnetic and appealing about a person with Mars in eighth, even if they don’t try to be attractive. Abuse or physical violence that was expected to stay secret is also possible. In my case, I have Mars making a square to my moon, and there was a lot of emotional and psychological abuse with my mother that I was forced to keep quiet about for a long time. It’s taken years to really be able to be open and honest about what happened, and often when a person with planets in the eight confesses their trauma, it can cause a whole Pandora’s Box of shock but also A LOT of healing. Keep in mind the expression, “You’re only as sick as your secrets,” and you’ll see why it’s important to release them into the wild, so you can free yourself.
When Mercury is here, this can make someone very secretive, quiet, and mysterious. They might not talk a lot, but when they do, it’s heartfelt. There can even be a tendency of playing mind games, using psychological manipulation, teasing, or flirting, and their words are often a weapon. Of course, they usually know full well how intense their words are. I think a perfect example of this would be in the movie Basic Instinct, where Catherine Tremell’s character may or may not have killed her lover. It’s obvious she did, but between her way with words and the fact that she so conveniently wrote the exact same actions in her book, it can almost feel like a chicken or egg scenario- did life inspire the book or did she morbidly inspire herself while writing it? Besides, how could someone so beautiful do that? Of course with the way she seduces the cops in the classic interrogation scene, there’s a good chance we could also throw in Mars in the eighth, and maybe Venus-Pluto, for good measure.
It might be worth mentioning that even though Sharon Stone is a Pisces and definitely doesn’t have any planets in the eighth house- at least, according to Astrotheme- she does have Pluto exactly on her rising sign AND square her moon. So there you have it, in case you wanted any reason behind her appeal.
With that being said, I’m sort of biased toward Mars in the eighth house, because from my perspective, anyone with this placement is a spiritual warrior. Of course, anyone can be a warrior in some way, but keep in mind those with Mars in the house of secrets have and continue to fight battles most of us can’t even imagine- even between other people with the same placement. There’s only so much psychoanalysis, so much healing work, and so much masturbation, that can be done, and to be honest, sometimes secrets are just fun. Despite what some might think, this doesn’t necessarily show promiscuous behaviour, it just means that intimacy is taken seriously, or that intimacy is important to their career. There can also be a tendency toward liking it rough or wanting a dominant partner, but with a bit of fear behind that need due to power struggles experienced as a child. Mars shows how we take initiative so this placement is brilliant as a CEO or entrepreneur, without seeking too much attention. In my case, when not writing stories or about astrology, I write erotic poetry under the penname Raven Skye, and have a private Instagram for it (also linked below the article). This is why people who have Mars in the eighth are usually very selective of potential mates. We absorb energy easily and can be at risk of attracting partners who are obsessive, even stalkers, especially after we have get with them. On the positive side, let me tell you that orgasms here can be an almost spiritual experience, and if the connection is healthy and mature, oh my…
Speaking of connections, eighth house synastry is especially potent and powerful. If you’re someone who’s attracted to a person with either their planets in your eighth house, or vice versa, please make sure the person is self-aware. Make sure they at least meditate or have some understanding of who they are and their flaws/weaknesses- unless you want to find yourself with Alex from Fatal Attraction. You might not be able to resist each other, which can sound fun, till they’re in your kitchen making rabbit soup. Or better yet, a Christian Grey wannabe with not even half the charm trying to use domination to justify lack of consent- like please do your homework before even trying anything. Intense affairs or even brief encounters are often volatile with the eight.
Personally, I’ve had people’s planets in my eighth house and it can border on extremes. When it’s good, it’s wonderful, but when it’s bad, it can get scary. In some cases the connection became obsessive. I once had to stop being friends with a woman who happens to have her Venus in my eighth house, because I always felt like she had a crush on me. She’s said suggestive things, and already asked me if I was queer after telling me how attractive she thought I was. Once I stopped talking to her, she would give me a nasty look whenever I would hang out with other people. Since we met at a bad time in my life, it also felt like she really didn’t like seeing me succeed again, since she knew that I wasn’t going to give in to her. I even have my ex’s moon in my eighth, and when I first tried to break up with him, he threatened suicide. But those are only, like I said, with people who aren’t self-aware in some way.
At the time those situations happened I didn’t even have much awareness on how powerful my eighth house Mars truly is. This placement can easily be a spot of insecurity where it almost feels intimidating to hone in your inner strength. If you have this, there could be times where a person wrongs you, and karma just seems to happen for them without you wanting revenge.
Just like the volatile side of the eighth house, I also know people who have their sun, moon, or other planets in my eighth who are extremely caringand protective, and while the connection is obviously different, we still respect each other’s boundaries and give some space. There’s a tendency with eighth house synastry to not really need much verbal communication- a look or gesture is enough. If ever you’ve found yourself sitting in “comfortable silence” with someone, chances are either you or they have something in the other’s eighth house. So don’t ever believe anyone who tells you it’s all bad. It can be very good, and if a romantic partnership, this can be very, very, VERY steamy and enduring.
At best, a healthy relationship involving the eighth house only works in private, away from the public eye. There’ll be days where all you want to do is stay in bed and hold each other, forgetting the rest of the world even exists. I’d even say that if you’re someone who has Venus or Mars in your eighth, you probably cringe at people always posting selfies or stories together on social media. There can be intense passion, and it’s usually between two people no one would expect to fall in love, and who cares what people think, right? To the outside, it can even look confusing, but for whatever reason, resisting isn’t possible. Sometimes it can start as just something physical and then become more. A person’s sun in someone’s eighth house can literally illuminate all of the house person’s desires and needs they never knew they had, or maybe couldn’t admit to. Now that I’ve been single for awhile, I already know that I’ll be more private about my next relationship, simply because it works best for me. And also because I’ve had experiences of extreme jealousy, where so-called friends tried sabotaging things just because they couldn’t keep me to themselves. If you’re an eighth houser, it can feel like people sometimes want you to stay alone only so they can admire you from afar. This is why if you have ANYTHING here, you need to take control of your life, learn to be a baddass, and stand for what you believe in. At times we may feel powerless, but that’s only fear talking. You are way stronger than you can imagine. Planets in the eighth can give an uncanny intuition and ability to turn pain into wisdom and beauty, and when you realize that, you can be downright intimidating to anyone who tries to mess with you.
So yeah, some of the best times of my life thrive best in the dark- just where I like it.
That’s another point to make about eighth house folks, we don’t actually belong to anyone, unless we sign on the dotted line. I know it sounds shocking, because to be honest, while the idea of a lover possessing me like Belle from Beauty and the Beast is a definite fantasy, I wouldn’t make it a lifestyle. And it’s usually because we know what our limits are- and also because Scorpio’s domain cannot function without order and discipline. A crack of a whip hard enough will always need a safe word.
But the risk is worth it.
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*This article was originally published on Medium.