Wednesday Journal Entry, Week 28
March 1st 2023 – Karina Lafayette
There’s something bittersweet about starting a new chapter. You know there’s certain things you can’t take with you, but at the same time, they just don’t fit anymore. You’re not the same person you were and it’s not obvious how much has changed, till it comes time to turn the page. The change is so slow, so subtle, like the John Lennon quote: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
Back in 2008, I was 16. After years of getting bullied at school, I started to find my place, amongst a group of emo girls. It was the year I joined Facebook. I started wearing makeup which- okay, was often overdone to the point where my face almost looked orange, and packed on the mascara like no one’s business. I had a new crush almost every other week and cried in my pillow every night, knowing I’d never get the courage to talk to any of them. I also had a new poem written every few days, and loved daydreaming more than real life. For that last part, sometimes I still do.
In 2008, life wasn’t perfect, but it felt simpler. This was before I realized my mom was a narcissist, when the two of us were still best friends. It was the same year Barack Obama was running for the U.S. Presidency, before it became obvious how bad inequality still very much was. The world seemed to be on the verge of something beautiful, a new mountain to climb. His catchphrase “Yes we can” was strong enough to vibrate through the walls, like an inexperienced goat still not knowing how much climbing it’ll take to get to the top. And boy, did we climb. The longest winter probably took place during Pluto in Capricorn, and with good reason.
Today, I don’t talk to my mother, or to those girls from high school. When it comes to love, I have trust issues from betrayal and emotional abuse. I’m intensely passionate and get jealous easily, despite being good at hiding it. I also deeply hate just about everything social media turned into, to the point where I launched my own platform Persephone’s Forum, which comes with a Cerberus chatbot and an angle geared toward a lot of what mainstream platforms ignore. The irony is not lost on me either, since Pluto happens to be the other name for Hades, Persephone’s goth husband. And I’d be lying if I said Persephone doesn’t represent a lot of my own journey.
Pluto’s transit in Capricorn has been different for everyone, but one thing he’s taught us is where we need to own our power. In my case, I used to be passive, almost passive-aggressive. I felt more comfortable letting others take the lead, only to complain about the direction they were taking me in. There was even a time where certain feelings felt shameful, till last year, when I met someone and fell for him, even knowing we were doomed from the start and that the outcome would hurt like hell (he was with someone back then and we worked together). At first, I really wanted to hate him, but that’s because it was easier to ignore my feelings. In the end, I let myself fall, even if it was from far away, because what Pluto teaches you is that it’s better to confront your feelings, than pretend you don’t have any.
Whenever Pluto embarks on a journey through a zodiac sign, it usually starts off like the Fool card, bright-eyed and naïve. You have hopes and dreams, just like Obama at the start of his presidency- whom by the way, also happens to be a Capricorn Saturn. Then the further the journey goes along, the more we discover how much old shit, old patterns and old secrets have to be thrown away before we can get to the good stuff. Eventually we travel through the Underworld, and the best part is we don’t even realize it’s happening till after it’s over, when we come out on the other side, changed forever. In Capricorn, we learned about power, about our desire for power and where we don’t have any. The dark side of this period has birthed hustle culture, an obsession with independence, and the idea that in order to be successful, you have to be a ruthless asshole.
And none of this is new. People have often signed contracts with a devil to get what they want, but before 2008, we did well to look the other way. Even with comedians making innocent jokes that were clearly racist and sexist, we did a good job to look the other way, because they were rich and famous and pointing them out meant the risk of an entire system falling apart. And it happened. In 2011, there was Occupy Wall Street which, even just for a moment, showed people how powerful we at least could be, if we fight for it, and the idea of that is pretty scary to imagine.
I can see why people are afraid of Pluto. The Prince of Darkness leads people to their destruction with a smile on his face and it’s so hard to resist, that we gladly give him a chance. Except if you think about it, is he really such a bad guy, or does he just hold up a mirror to the world? People want power, because they know what it’s like to not have any. They want love, because they know what it’s like to feel hated. In the movie The Social Network, we find out that Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Meta, started Facebook because he felt lonely, even though he sometimes had a way to prevent others from truly liking him or getting to know him at all, and even allowed his need for success to ruin other areas of life.
This is why on the show Lucifer, the magic question, “ What is it that you truly desire?” usually follows up with an answer that cracks the police case. Most people don’t actually want to do bad things, we just do bad things when we feel it’s the only way to get what we desire.
This is why people have affairs. Two people who think they can’t get love any other way, or because they’re too afraid to go all in, so the affair feels safer. It’s also why CEO’s often lie, cheat and swindle their way to the top, because they feel that they can’t succeed otherwise. Humans do things for complicated reasons, and it’s easier to blame the devil, or in this case Pluto, than to admit what really makes us happy. At some point growing up, there was a message that you need to look a certain way, act a certain way, and do certain things, otherwise you just aren’t good enough. We don’t want to admit it, but we’ve all done at least one shameful thing to get ahead in life. And if we try not to, we’re usually on the other side, trying to be the judge without actually knowing all the evidence.
Personally, Pluto is one of my favorite planets, because I’m aware there’s a side to me than can be downright relentless and even terrifying when I don’t get my way. Three of my planets are opposite Pluto, so there’s no choice anyway. Although it’s that same side of me that gave the courage to leave my narcissistic mother and my abusive ex, and it’s the same side of me that keeps pushing past obstacles to do better in life. Pluto wants you to embrace your power, because it’s the way to avoid using it to do bad things. It’s only when we deny that side and pretend it’s all love and light, that we can really become evil.
This is also why there’s really no need to be scared once Pluto changes area in your birth chart, once it goes into Aquarius. The transition will be so slow, that come 2044, it’ll feel bittersweet to look back on this time. Some things will stay the same, but others will inevitably transform. That’s the beauty and pain of life. Eventually it all leads toward the same path, destruction and rebirth. The Book of Ecclesiastes is very similar to what Pluto represents, in all its contradictions, because whether you take the deal with the devil or not, you’ll eventually get to where you’re going. People who want power, eventually get it. People who want love, eventually find it. Kids who want to grow up, eventually become adults, even if they hate it later. The difference is whether you take a shortcut or the path through the Underworld first.
Funny enough, even with everything that’s happened during this transit, Pluto almost feels at home in Capricorn. Capricorn traditionally used to be represented by the sea goat, because these people have the ability to navigate the darkest aspects of life and the brightest at the same time. They can do well leading others, as much as on their own. But without any mountain to climb, Capricorn gets bored and becomes self-destructive so as much as it sounds wrong, working toward one’s goals is the best way to avoid destroying the world even more. Before Pluto entered Capricorn, we were so obsessed with other countries and terror threats, that we didn’t have to look much over here.
As much as I hate to say it, I also think it’s why before Pluto went into Capricorn, life was so much more simple. Because Capricorn represents the structure of society, we could get away with pretending that oppression was normal and that class division was just about the hand you’re dealt, not the fact that people in charge keep the good cards for themselves. In Sagittarius, we could philosophize our pain away. It’s also sadly easier to keep accepting the role of the oppressed, than to do something about it. The idea of wanting a fair share of power comes with so much risk and discomfort, just look at the French Revolution or the Arab Spring. But Pluto doesn’t want you to look away. He wants you to look at the darkness till your eyes adjust. Maybe 2020 was a year that adjusted our vision after all, just not to what we expected, it adjusted us to face the truth.
During the time that Pluto has been in Capricorn, people will say that the world has gotten much worse, but if you go back a few hundred years, you’ll see that things haven’t really changed, we did. If you sit down and think about all the things that seemed normal before 2008, you’d get enraged. Even when it comes to paparazzi chasing around Britney Spears, Harvey Weinstein’s casting couch, diet culture, etc… everything that seemed normal back then, is almost a joke today. Going back to Obama’s presidency, that ambition was the start of a journey toward better equality, but it took staring at inequality in the face to really work toward getting there. Today, things aren’t perfect, but at least we know what we’re up against, and if there’s one gift Pluto can give to the world before going into Aquarius, it’s that knowledge is the real power.
If you enjoyed this article, you may want to read Here Come the Space Children: Pluto in Aquarius (2023-2044) and The Astrology of Shadow Work. And if you haven’t already, join my new social media site, Persephone’s Forum, where you can post, add friends and more!
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