The idea of me of all people having a niche is… laughable. Not because I’m trying to seem cool or rebellious by refusing to pick a lane, but because my brain says so. I like many different crafts: filmmaking, astrology, poetry, blogging, storytelling, tarot, etc. If it has a creative angle, then I’ve probably experimented in it at least once, or twice, or maybe half a time before my mind got bored and decided to hyperfixate on something else.
However, everything leads back to writing. Being a writer, a wordsmith, poet, occasional nihilist- whatever, is my happy place, the only place that makes sense for me.
It happened just like that. I don’t know how or when. Life seemed very bland, and as I turned on the TV, the only thing available was the local news, airing on repeat. I attempted to turn to the next station, but found the same report over and over again. At first, I shrugged it off, assuming maybe Mercury retrograde was somehow messing with the cable. Instead, I turned on the radio, to two male voices discussing traffic. And same with the TV, when attempting to change the dial to another station, the voices went on. I couldn’t find any music.
Growing up, my mom used to kill spiders anytime they came into our house, and since kids mirror their parents, for awhile I did the same thing. Whenever I did this, I would get spider bites the next day, because like any living being, a spider will defend themselves when they feel threatened, or when you threaten anyone they care about. Sometime in my late twenties, I started to notice how fascinating spiders are, with their survival methods and how they spin a web, and killing them no longer made sense. So I got into the habit of trying to catch the spiders in a jar to bring them outside. No more bites.
Ever notice how the things we want the most, are more often than not the things we fear the most? For example, many people complain how frustrating relationships are, yet the minute we meet someone who seems to embody everything we want, we screw things up by pushing them away. Or we’ll spend years working toward a specific goal, but when the opportunity comes up to take on a certain job or career that’ll propel us forward, we get taken over by self-doubt and good ol’ imposter syndrome. Well luckily, this is the moment to heal those fears once and for all. And while it won’t be easy, it’ll be absolutely worth it.
“Chasing dreams is fine but don’t forget your family,” one of my relatives wrote in a comment below one of my posts.
I brushed it off, assuming that she was only saying that to try and hold me back, or to make me feel guilty about moving to Toronto. Now that I think about it, she was right. However, having spent so many years being the “good girl” who would cater to other people, I didn’t want to feel limited by anything. I needed complete freedom, even if it came at the expense of my loved ones and relationships. Growing up, I was always expected to be responsible for others. I watched as women in my family spent their lives dedicated to service and knew that wasn’t for me.
I walked into the tiny studio for rent, in shock at what this couple thought was a great option for real estate. It was no bigger than a bedroom and had a bed, with a hot plate for a stove, a toaster oven, but hey, at least the fridge was decent. And there was a bathroom. All for the bargain of $1400. Been there, done that.
And quite literally. Before my current apartment, I spent a few months in a studio, but at least it was twice the size and resembled a mini loft. This however, this was a joke. Just like the housing market has become a joke. I didn’t have to think twice about saying “no” and sighed. At this point, it’s hardly breadcrumbs, it’s actual trash.
If you’ve ordered a reading from me, you can expect it shortly. However, if you were planning on getting a reading from me and haven’t already, my bookings will be closed till early 2023. At the moment my priority is to focus on writing and my current job, so I won’t have the time to take on new clients. I’m grateful for your support and hope you understand.
In the meantime, if you want to learn how to read your natal chart, please order my workbook Learning the Stars, which can be found here, as well as several other books I’ve self-published.
When I first started getting into spirituality, I identified strongly with the idea of being an old soul. Ever since I was a kid, people praised me for my strength and maturity, not realizing that I was just a child- I wasn’t supposed to be strong or mature. Teachers often spoke highly of me for being quiet in class, doing all my assignments and helping others. And yes, I was a teacher’s pet. Whenever I’d be at my grandmother’s, I would offer to help her with the chores and would be doing dishes and wiping down her fridge even though she insisted that she could do it.